My Motherly Education

This morning, I woke up to Cora sucking her thumb. I was SO excited. She has been working for weeks now, sucking her hands and drooling everywhere in attempts to latch that thumb down. Well, this morning she finally did it! And I tell you, I was so proud of her - and so overwhelmed that I could feel so proud of a feat so "small." And it got me to thinking...something which I'm known to do and sometimes drives Matt nuts ;)

Before the little missy got here, life had taken on a not so interesting routine, as I was trying to "figure things out." As if any of us ever "figure things out." I met Matt and before I knew it, I had a human being growing inside of me. A little text from my father saying, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans," says it all. Though some women are able to bond with their baby during the pregnancy, I was not. I was in disbelief most of the journey, and by the end of it I was mostly concerned with discomfort and heartburn! Even after the birth, when they placed her in my arms, all I could think was, "What and who is this thing that just came out of me??" During the first week, I was actually relieved when Matt would take her for a walk or a drive so I could sleep. However, as I got my strength back and started to feel good, everything changed :)

Now, I can hardly put her down for a few minutes without wanting to pick her up again. Between Matt and I, she gets about a thousand kisses a day. We've even, I hate to admit it, gotten to the point of fighting over who gets to hold her! But all kidding aside, Matt and I are so overwhelmed by the amount of love that can be inspired by something so small. I know that's cliche to say, but, man oh man is it true. Several times a day my heart goes back and forth between bursting and melting. She's got the smiling down pat and is now squealing and learning to laugh. The laughing is harder than you'd think - sometimes she cokes and coughs on the laugh! But, like everything else, she will perfect that as well.

And this brings me to my next point...she will (sob) eventually grow up. Matt and I frequently muse that we want her to stay this little forever. Yesterday we were showing her the new toy Aunt Stephy bought her, and she got frustrated that she couldn't pick it up and play with it. Yes, she WANTS to get bigger and grow up. It's tough. And sometimes I have to ask myself if decisions I make are in her best interest or if I'm only thinking about what I want. Like when I pick her up the second she makes any noise or interrupt her when she's happily smiling at her best friend the ceiling fan...I'm learning. Hey, it's the first kid! I'm allowed a significant grace period. And, in the mean time, I will continue to cuddle and kiss her and watch her grow into the person she's come here to be.

And because I couldn't decide which picture was cuter...